Wow.

I have so many emotions and feelings and just I can’t really put it into words. MKE has been over for a few weeks and I’m still a little behind but I am continuing and I am going to have everything done before the next part of master key starts. There it’s in writing now, I’ve said it so I will do it. I have been so slack on all my readings and every activity and I have noticed a HUGE HUGE HUGE amount of the old insecurities and lingering sadness cloud me again. I didn’t realise just how much all of these little activities helped until I stopped doing them so regulary. I have decided to sign up for the lifetime membership. I mean why not. I would love the opportunity to do this again and again until I GET IT.

Let’s rewind to week 22. The webby. Ah the silence. I am planning my silence now. I have a picture in my mind of how I want to do it. I want to go away by myself to a little cabin in the hills and take a journal and let it spill out of me. At first I felt like a little winded and worried and then nausea thinking about just being with nothing. Strange emotions to be feeling just working listening to the webby in my headphones. But after I thought about it, I have become so excited. I honestly mean it. I can’t wait. People think I’m crazy. But I have this really strong feeling that this is going to the big jump for me. I will know after this, I can feel it in my bones.

I put it out into the universe (instagram) to make my imagination a reality with cabins and homes and air bnbs recommendations and a girl I know sent through one so magical and special, I knew it was the one instantly. Thank you universe.

I really put myself out of my comfort zone this week. As instructed. I downloaded bumble bff. It’s like a dating app but for friends. I thought fuck it. I want like minded friends. Going through this I feel super disconnected to most of the people I once knew and gelled so well with. It makes me feel a little sad but I know that right now I’m just really figuring out so much stuff and sometimes it’s okay to not be as close to some people. But this app is so great, girls are raw and real and not afraid to be like yeah this is against all social norms but who cares, I wanna connect to you. It’s magical really.

I’m going for a 16m run tomorrow because I CAN DO IT (even though god it’s been a while haha) and then meeting one of the girls for brekky.

Good night universe. I’m grateful for the rollercoaster.

 

I love week 21. I found the scroll to be the one that talked to me the most. I know they all are saying the same thing in different words/examples/scenarios but this one I felt spoke to my soul the most.

I faced fear this week by doing a high ropes course. I have always had a pretty severe fear of heights which I guess is a fear of death. But I put myself in the position to see how my brain coped with the fear that has been embedded in me from an early age and my new found knowledge. I kept smiling the whole way, kept thinking and repeating outloud this is fun, I am happy, I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. It was contagious. I could see it rubbing off onto people around me.

I always faced unworthiness by deleting social media. This one is a huge one for me. I constantly compare my life to others. But why? I know I can create that life if that is what I really want. I have an addiction to that feeling. I’m still working on breaking this habit.

I can’t believe this is nearly over. This has become a part of me. I see people around me doing things that this course has shown me to do. I have friends who say three gratitudes a day. A dentist I work with came in the other day and said after his meditation that morning he wanted to tell me he was grateful for me and needed to let me know. Another dentist I work says something she is thankful for every time we have an angry pt. It’s hilarious to me and I find it amazing that people around me are interested in what is happening to me.

I have not been perfect but it’s crazy if I don’t do the exercises for a couple days – I can not sleep, my mind goes absolutely crazy, it’s like a reel of all the sayings, concepts, dmps, affirmations that I’ve learnt and heard on this course just spinning around and around in my head and I wake up with a NEED to get my tasks done. It’s the craziest thing.

I know I smile a hell of a lot more lately.

I am excited for after the course, I know I can do this – and I will figure it all out in due time. I have tools now!

Ciao xo

 

Week 20 webby. Wow. I had goosebumps. Is it strange I noticed my breathing changing during Davene talk about the flight or fight and comfort zone part. I can’t wait for the tools! I’ve been thinking out of those five words what I really resonate with, what feeling is most prominent in my life. I think unworthiness, why me! But why not me. There’s a lot of fear still here. But I am expanding I feel it inside me. I am not the same person I was at the start of this. I need to believe in myself more and I am still on the way to being the person I know I am meant to be but I know whole heartedly there’s no turning back. I know too much now. I am so grateful for that.

I need to get my act together with a mastermind, that’s a priority for me this week.

I absolutely loved the 1993 ——————————2093 exercise. How many summers do I have left? When will I begin?

There is only one answer. Right now. DO IT RIGHT NOW.

That’s all for this week. I feel so much gratitude inside me for this course. My mind is constantly buzzing. I am still trying to hone my skills of concentrating on fixing the static in my head to be able to hear clearly but there wasn’t any sound at all before. So I know I will get there. Practice and persistence are the OG.

Bye 🙂

 

HEY

The big thing I took away from this week was the fact me and my partner had an argument. In the past I had a very difficult time being able to handle my emotions. Sadness would fully engulf me. I remember the feeling so well, like I couldn’t do anything to lift myself up out of the cloud. I don’t know if it was depression because it wasn’t constant but when it did come, I couldn’t get out of bed – I’d try and numb myself with whatever possible – mindless tv, alcohol, food (this was a big one) and also exercise which was the one positive. I think thats the one that really saved me so to speak. I used to also unload my problems constantly onto people who didn’t need that negativity in their life.

So after all that… the big high five moment for me this week is that I was completely able to rationalise and compartmentalise my feelings and come out still feeling okay, not deflated or sad but completely neutral.

The biggest thing from this course so far for me I the fact I have full control over how I want to feel. I’m in control of my life not anyone or anything else!

Last week and this week I really really struggled to do everything. I don’t know what came over me. I really truly get excited about the stuff we learn in the webbys, I know that this stuff is absolutely 100% I have no doubt in my mind. But still I let my old subby get the better of me and sink back into my old habits of unproductivness. I’m really debating with my old blueprint hard, I actually hear a conversation between my new and old blueprints in my head sometimes, fighting it out. I have found reading the obituary and asking myself the questions after really helps with that.

I’m catching up so onto week 20 webby and my next blog post!

YAY love getting shit done.

DO IT NOW

Bye! xo

 

Hey all!

Well first off it’s now week 22 actually but I am catching up. I’ve just finished the week 18 webby and I wish I had watched it earlier because it really resonated with me.

If we study people/topics/trends that are merely average all we will ever be is average! THAT IS HUGE TO ME! I loved Shawns TED talk. I am so grateful for it!

It just sparked a fire in me. I want people to ask at my funeral ‘Did she have passion?’ and I want people to scream YES, she was the most passionate person I know! I’ve felt such a longing to find something I was passionate about – trying to adhere to peoples standards and societies ‘rules’ but I have chosen to really just think about what I love what makes me happy, what give me purpose this year. When I stop loving something I’m really trying to just say that’s it for me now. It’s a bit difficult when I don’t love my job but it’s paying the rent. But lately I go into work with the attitude that it is a stepping stone to get me to where I want to go, instead of the fact I don’t want to be there.

Be happy first. So simple but such a revelation for me. Your vibe attracts your tribe.

I was a little bummed this week though, I remember I had a smart goal in my DMP that I didn’t meet. I have changed the date. But I do understand that it’s because I must not have truly believed it.

What was I pretending not to know?
That with a little effort I have the complete power to use my thoughts to create the life I want.

What will the person I intend to become do next?
Well right now she will be finishing this and writing week 19s blog.

Arrivederci

COURAGE COMES AFTER DOING THE THING YOU FEAR

What a whirlwind of a week. So I did things a little backwards as per usual this week. Week 17 happened, I wrote a few things down of what happened and then I watched the Webby after the week was over. Let me tell you, I had a little bit of an insane week. I was sticking to the exercises religiously. Up until this week. Okay maybe not with as much ENTHUSIASM but I was still doing everything every single day. And I had not ever wondered if this was really worth it up until this week. Or that I missed TV. And I absolutely binged with bad foods I was doing so well keeping away from. I fought with my boyfriend one night and just felt too sad to finish my exercises for the day and then that was a little bit of a domino affect. Every time I was tired or feeling down or exhausted I missed a couple things and I even went one whole day without doing ANYTHING. I’d say maybe 2 days in total not doing anything and about 3-4 where I missed a couple things like end of day read or my plan of attack things I tick off daily. I never felt happy about it though, I always had a weird feeling in my stomach after doing it. I am back on track now but it’s taking a little bit more motivation then before now the momentum of getting things done stopped. But after watching the webby I get it.

I was experiencing grief and I let it get the better of me went all the way back to denial. But I opt for the heroes journey. I know it will be easier now I know that I am a hero. I honestly could not not do this if you know what I mean. I am still learning and discovering and I am no where near done but I know too much now to ever go back to being a naive girl with no purpose or direction or excitement for life.

Now lets PMA this blog post up!

I LOVE EARL NIGHTINGALE. I listen to the strangest secret at least twice a week. His voice is so soothing. I’ve got pleasing personality as my virtue this week and he definitely has a pleasing personality! I have been seeing it a few times a day but I know there is more I have probably overlooked.

I’m really starting to get the whole give more get more. I know it’s a simple sentence but it’s taken me a while to fully understand it’s power. But just giving a simple smile to someone who is not smiling, makes me smile even bigger. I love the feeling.

Which leads me on to the question this week – How can each of us be the greatest salesman in the world? Hmm the very first thing that came to my head was – give more, get more. We can each be the greatest salesman in the world by giving more of our perfect selves in service to others.

I had an amazing meditation the other day. I was on the beach and I fully started thinking about my website program I want to make and ideas started flowing, I was honestly surprised and impressed. Not sure how to start it yet but I have started to enjoy my sits more and more each time I get some magic. Which isn’t every sit by any means – maybe I have to sit for longer. Something to sleep on.

So the 4 points, let’s quickly review

DMP – I am pondering lately if my DMP is 100% or if I should rewrite. I am going to sit on it.

PMA – honestly I’m pretty good at this one except for the last week or so. I’m definitely a zillion times better at dealing with things then before I started this course. I see the good in the world a lot more then before. My one struggle is my work. I really don’t enjoy it so when I’m there my mood is down.

POA – this is coming along nicely

MMA – I gotta work on this. I am an introvert and when things get intense or I get inside my head I keep to myself. But I have a beautiful group of people who are there to support me so I’m jumping back in

I’m all in

I am nature’s greatest miracle.

I LOVE YOU REBEKAH EVE GILBERT

 

12. The mind may place the ideal a little too high and fall short of the mark it may attempt to soar on untrained wings and instead of flying, fall to earth; but that is no reason for not making another attempt. 

Hey happy people,

I love that quote from week 17. Because I’m still in the process of trusting myself and that helps me forgive myself when I fall short of that.

I got goosebumps telling myself – I give permission to you to be so bloody happy in the webby. And I’m definitely going to be digging deep this week with the gal in the glass about WHAT DO I WANT. I just want to reconfirm what I already know. Do even more soul searching haha.

I had self control and decisiveness this week. I was pretty good at noticing it in me, had a bit of trouble noticing self control in others but when I really went looking I found a couple examples. Self control was interesting for me though, because I was focusing on it, it really made me want to exercise it. It helped a few times when the sugary delicious snacks get passed around work at arvo tea time.

I’m still finding it difficult to meditate ‘properly’ The exercises are never visual for me and when I read other peoples comments, I get a little jealous actually. But I’m still keeping them up. I believe in the power of it so eventually I know I will get there.

I’ve set up a mastermind group with two girls in my tribe and we had our first zoom call. I’ve got to email them my DMP. I was a little taken aback when I heard theres. They are beautifully written and very different to my own. But we are all different souls on this journey so can’t give myself a hard time about it.

I love writing the gratitudes, makes me feel amazing. I cry every time I read an obituary. That’s the empath in me. I’ve been wondering about different ways to be kind without getting noticed and coming up blank. Need to meditate on that. I am still doing kind things every day but sometimes people know I’m the one who does it. I have been anonymously giving to go fund me pages nearly everyday and enjoy doing that.

I want to go more into a topic about this next blog but just putting it out in the universe if anyone else thinks learning all of this/cracking that bitch of a cement off can feel a little isolating at times? I wouldn’t change it for the world but lately I have just noticed some of the people I used to love being around are actually super negative people and friends feel distant because they don’t really understand what I’m going through and why I’m different. My outlook of the world has definitely changed and I’m beginning to understand why some yogis lived in caves just to be able to full delve into themselves without other people judging/imprinting their beliefs on you.

Ah well one door closes, another opens right.

(How about 20 million bigger better more amazing doors open haha)

See yas xo

28. If you desire to visualise a different environment, the process is to simply to hold the ideal in mind, until your vision has been made real, give no thought to persons, places or things; these have no place in the absolute, the environment you desire will contain everything necessary the right persons, and the right things will come at the right time and in the right place. 

I loved kindness week. I noticed lots of kindness and I felt myself going out of my way to do something where I wouldn’t have before. I noticed lots of kindness coming towards me as well but I’m pretty woeful at writing it down and tallying it. It was cute to read all the other posts about kindness too, that’s been one of my fav assignments so far.

I also loveeeeeee smiling for a minute. I’ve added it to my list for each day. My mouth actually hurts after it so it just goes to show I don’t smile nearly enough! But I’m practicing and practice makes perfect!

My blog is short and sweet this week but I have quite a bit to write for week 17 so stay tuned my beautiful readers.

Love and light to everyone in the world and other worlds out there.

Bek xo

 

Week 15 of the Masterkey has my favourite line ever –

“We do not have to laboriously shovel the darkness out, all that is necessary is to turn on the light. The same principle applies to every negative thought.”

I liked sitting focusing on Insight. I am still developing my skills of insight but man I can’t wait. SOUNDS AMAZING! “A kind of human telescope; it enables us to understand the difficulties, as well as the possibilities, in any undertaking”

I flew home from Townsville back to the Gold Coast recently and I was pretty proud of myself, on the plane I read emmersons essay, listened to my recording and then when I got on the train I listened to the strangest secret, did some blog roll and watched a bit of the webby replay. What’s boredom? I actually don’t know anymore because there is ALWAYS something I can be doing, I have started to become a master of making all the minutes in the day count!

I love the gratitude and achievement card stacks – very warm fuzzy feelings from them. I am behind so I didn’t do my first week of the makeover this week. My first one is self control haha and I didn’t have enough to watch the webby and realise what we were doing so I have started off with the kindness week and will bundle self control and week 3 of the makeover together next week!

Loved the strangest secret. Sent it to my boyfriend to listen to as well! A condensed version of this course really. VERY condensed version!

Did my first NARC tonight with something small to start with. I don’t like eating salad, I literally always choose something over it. So I did narc in regards to eating salad tonight and I actually felt very upset when I walked away from the bin. Definitely no turning back now!

I’ve been noticing I’ve been linking lately – Scroll 4 “hiding out similarities and accenting our differences” is linked to the strangest secrets notion that “conformity is the opposite of courage and the reason people don’t succeed” Thought that was pretty cool.

I was reading Emmersons law of compensation this morning before my sit and sentence “The soul refuses limits, and always affirms an Optimism, never a Pessimism.” really stuck out to me today and during my sit I linked it together with “Emerson loved the good and his life was a symphony of peace and harmony, Carlyle hated the bad, and his life was a record of perpetual discord and inharmony.” and emmets 7 day mental diet “you cannot be healthy, you cannot be happy, you cannot be prosperous, if you have a bad disposition.”

My huge act of kindness this week was I gave my practice manager at work, her fams struggling for money and didn’t have a car, I’m getting a new car next week and I had a spare old running car so I gave it to them as a gift to make life easier. Because who doesn’t need life a little easier sometimes. They are happy and I am happy so it’s a win win win win win! Only wins here.

Goodnight YA’LL time for bed before a big 11 day tomorrow! But my boyfriend comes home today so a huge positive 🙂

25. Thought is the only reality; conditions are but the outward manifestations; as the thought changes, all outward or material conditions must change in order to be in harmony with their creator, which is thought.

26. But the thought must be clear cut, steady, fixed, definite, unchangeable; you cannot take one step forward and two steps backward, neither can you spend twenty or thirty years of your life building up negative conditions as the result of negative thoughts, and then expect to see them all melt away as the result of fifteen or twenty minutes of right thinking.

I really loved the sit this week. I found it easy to focus on harmony. I will soon be able to come into realisations during my sit but at the moment I’m enjoying getting into the meditation feeling – I feel like I’m buzzing or vibrating a little. Am I the only one? haha

Sorry in advance my blog will probably be all over the place this week. It usually is anyway but whatever. Back at work after a two week break and I have been more productive now I’m working full time again more so then when I was on holidays? Go figure. But I enjoyed the break, I still kept up with my daily activities just didn’t watch the webbys but nearly all caught up now so YAY I’m going to celebrate by going to sleep after this!

I did however have time to lounge around in the aircon and watch one of the movies ‘October Sky’. I’m such a big sissy sook, cried like a baby in this movie. I was surprised how quickly I saw the four steps though. Mark and Davene really do know what they are talking about haha!

So I’m trying to remember all the little facts but

DMP – Homer Hickam was super inspired by the Russians satellite Sputnik that he starting gathering information on rockets which made him decide that he was going to build his own rocket. Building that rocket became his definite major purpose – his GOAL!

PMA – schools tough kid I know! and Homer didn’t care about reputation when he went and talked to another kid who knew a lot about science, he kept a positive attitude around his school friends and even around his family even though his dad wasn’t stoked he didn’t wanna be a coal miner. Don’t blame ya homer! He even kept positive with no money to fund this project (the townies helped him, god bless) and in the face of all problems which arose, like getting accused of starting a fire in a neighbouring town.

POA – the scienceeeeeeeee fair! so that he could get a scholarship to collage since he sucked at footy and they were the only ways out of there small dead end coal mining town (unless of course you wanted to be a coal miner, then opportunities galore for you!)

MMA – He talked to everyone about it! His friends, he wrote letters to his idol, he talked to his teacher and family. And in the end the whole damn town was in on it!

Overall great movie and I was very proud of myself for seeing the 4 habits so clearly. Which means they are already in me so YAY!

I’ve been using my phone as a diet pill, my screen saver is bear hugs kettle – which I freaking LOVE. honestly the thing that has worked the most for me so far in regards to the law of substitution! And I have a clear case on with my movie poster stuck in and some affirmations on the back of my phone!

I’ve been making a big effort to mastermind and post in the alliance and Marco Polo groups and ticking that off every day! I actually feel anxious when I don’t get tasks completed now. Not anxious in a bad way but just so much more motivated to get shit done!

My OG book has literally fallen in half haha I’ve been reading it so much.

My partner heard me say the wrong date in my readings the other day by accident and corrected me, it was so funny he literally knows the dates for my dreams now too!

I gotta be honest it aint all sunshine and lollipops, I have down that I will teach pilates to someone for 5 mins minimum daily but for the last few days I haven’t had anyone to teach, but I forgive myself and I will work harder from tomorrow!

Okay don’t miss me too much just going to quickly catch up on my week 15 blog then I can sleeeeeeeep! After my readings of course haha!

ciao